Well escapism is an option. 

That’s a really insightful question! It gets to the heart of why we invest time and emotional energy into dating. Here’s a way to look at why an outcome often feels important when we date:
The Human Desire for Connection and Partnership: At a fundamental level, many people date because they have a desire for companionship, intimacy, and a meaningful connection with another person. This can stem from a deep-seated human need for belonging and love. In this context, the “outcome” isn’t necessarily marriage, but rather finding someone who resonates with you on a deeper level.
Evolutionary and Social Factors: From an evolutionary standpoint, pairing up has historically increased chances of survival and raising offspring. While modern dating isn’t always about procreation, these ingrained drives can still influence our desires and the importance we place on finding a partner. Societal norms and expectations around relationships can also contribute to the feeling that dating “should” lead somewhere.
Emotional Investment and Vulnerability: Dating involves emotional vulnerability. You’re sharing parts of yourself, your time, and your energy with someone. It’s natural to hope that this investment leads to something meaningful in return. Without the possibility of a positive outcome (like a fulfilling relationship), the process can feel draining or pointless.
Personal Goals and Values: People often date with certain personal goals in mind, whether consciously or not. This could be finding a long-term partner, someone to share experiences with, or even just learning more about themselves and what they want in a relationship. The desired outcome is tied to these personal aspirations.
The “Why” Behind the Dates: If you’re going on dates without any sense of potential outcome, it can feel a bit like wandering without a map. Having a general idea of what you’re hoping to gain (even if it’s just enjoyable company and new experiences) can provide direction and motivation.
However, it’s also worth considering the potential downsides of being too focused on a specific outcome:
* Pressure and Anxiety: Fixating on a particular result (like finding “the one” immediately) can create unnecessary pressure and anxiety for both you and the person you’re dating.
* Missing the Present: When you’re overly focused on the future, you might miss out on enjoying the present moment and getting to know the person in front of you.
* Disappointment: If every date is viewed as a potential step towards a specific outcome, you might experience more frequent disappointment.
* Ignoring Red Flags: The desire for a particular outcome could lead you to overlook incompatibilities or red flags.
In essence, the importance of an outcome in dating often comes down to the human desire for connection and the emotional investment involved. While having a general direction can be helpful, staying open to different possibilities and enjoying the process can lead to more fulfilling experiences.
What are your thoughts on this? Does a specific outcome feel important to you when you date?

Good advice  KDG